Sunday, February 11, 2007

I don't like Brandy

Tonight, I went out to one of my favorite cocktail 'lounges' to celebrate my brother's birthday. I was, of course, with my brother, his fiancee, my parents and my boyfriend. I started out with a vodka raspberry limonade. It was perfect, not too sweet as some fruity drinks are.

After that, I moved on to a Manhattan. This was a mistake on my part, as I am not a fan of Brandy. Manhattan and Cosmopolitan became jumbled in my brain. I don't know why...they just did. I had to pass that drink on to the birthday boy.

After that I moved onto a sloe gin fizz. In my book, you can never go wrong with gin. Bombay Sapphire G&T is my favorite drink. My boyfriend bought me a gigantic bottle of Bombay Sapphire for Christmas this year and it is nearly gone. (No worries, we've shared it with plenty of guests at our house.) Come to think of other brother got me a gigantic bottle of Beefeater Gin a few years ago for my birthday...that lasted a while longer as I lived alone at the time. Point is, I love the taste of a good gin.

Next time I will stick with my G&T - crisp and refreshing, how could I ever pass it up for a Manhattan??? Perhaps my taste in liquor isn't considered to be cultured, classic or even reputable, but I don't care. I like what I like and I know that I don't like brandy.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

I Hate My Treadmill

If you know me, you know that I am obsessed with soccer. During the World Cup (both mens and women's) I put up a sign on my office door that asks people not to mention any scores during the day, so that I can go home at the end of the day and watch the games that I missed. I've played all my life, but by no means I am no Chastain - not even close. I just love the game, that doesn't mean that I am talented at it. I do try though. I have played since I was 5, was able to practice (and even play a few games) for about 5 months in Germany when I was 17 and have been playing rec soccer ever since.

Currently, I am on three teams, 2 co-ed outdoor and a co-ed indoor team, I also have been working with a trainer with a few of my teammates. If you don't know me, then after reading all of that you would be suprised if you saw me. Lets put it this way, I have NO speed. None. Nothing. You see, I have been battling my weight since I was a little kid. Now, this isn't a 'poor me, poor me' entry. This is the hand that I was dealt with and someday I might accept it.

In the Seattle area, at least on the teams that I know of, co-ed teams are always looking for women. This means that the women on these teams don't have to sub all that often. The indoor team that I play on had 4 guy subs last week, where the women only had one. In my outdoor teams we usually don't have female subs - even when I play on a WOMEN's team, we usually don't have any subs. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I love it. Especially in the winter time, when you step off the field you freeze and it take ten minutes to get the muscles moving again. So, if I'm playing three full games a week AND working with a trainer once a week, why do I feel like I have to run on my treadmill at home, especially on days when I don't have a game.

I'm not one of those people that loves to run, I know those people, they are crazy. (crazy in a good way crazy). I wish I was estatic about running, but unless there is a soccer ball infront of me I lose interest really quick. When I was a kid, my best friend and I used to run around the neighborhood and I could never keep up with her. Granted, she ran cross-country in high school and college and still runs freakish amounts 'just for fun'. Ones' taste for running can be compared to one's taste for music; some people like jazz and others like country - some people enjoy exercise that is more team oriented and some people like the rush of running 8 miles. I myself, prefer jazz.

Now, some jackasses out there are saying, 'perhaps, if you cut down on the calories and the fat you wouldn't be feeling so out of shape all of the time.' What you don't know, that I have cut down on those things. I don't drink soda, I stay away from sugars and desserts and carbs and candy and pizza etc etc... So, what it comes down to, is that I play A LOT of soccer, but will never fit into the size of jeans that I should be able to fit in due to my height, age and bone size. So let me get to the point, I hate my treadmill.

After sitting at my desk all day, there's nothing more that I would like to do than something active, BUT that doesn't mean that I want to run on a conveyor belt that faces a blank wall. Worst of all, it makes me feel guilty. Everytime I see it when I haven't played a game I feel like I'm letting it down and not using it to its full potential and maybe, if I just put 30 minutes on that dreadful piece of machinery, I might be that much closer to fitting into a pair of jeans that are still larger than what is supposed to me 'my size' or gain a split second more in a sprint down the field trying to catch up to the speedy forward. (longest run-on sentence ever.)
So tonight, I got home from work, changed into a jogging clothes and climb aboard my treadmill. I told myself to just put 30 minutes in and when I'm finished I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that .... then I remembered that I have two soccer games in the next couple of days. Why should I punish myself? As long as my knees and ankles stay strong enough to play soccer, I will do whatever I can to gather as much dust as possible on that stupid treadmill.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

My First Post and Perhaps not the Last

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while now, but for the longest time couldn't validate why I should share my thoughts with anyone who happened to run across my blog. I still can't, but hell, if everyone else is, why can't I? Usually, I'm an upbeat person who has a good outlook on life - I see this as an opportunity to rant on those things that drive me up the wall and hopefully rave about those things in life that keep me going. I keep my identity anonomous so that I can be brutally honest about issues that arrive in my job, family and the rest of my life. I'm an average middle class women in my late 20's who has to work for a living and face the family (who I love and adore) at Christmas (I'm sure that I will dive into that relationship later). Average, BUT aren't we all in some way or another?

As I surf the web, tv and newspapers, I see content that makes me wonder if my parents feel the same way about society as I am beginning to when they were my age. This is why I always say that I hope to have the mindset of a 5 year old forever. Mature? Nope, I don't claim to be in the least. Responsibilities? Yep, I've got them, just like anyone else and I do hold true to them 99% of the time. However, I find that at the end of the day, my job is on the brain more than it should be, I'm more worried about my financial future more than how my friends and family are doing at times and recently, I realized that I haven't taken a real vacation in over 5 years. What the hell? I have been so caught up in the daily grind that I fear that I am losing sight of what truely is important to me. I miss the days of believing my parents are stronger than superheros (today they are the only superheros I believe in), that the President IS a smart man who could do no evil, that my Smurf Big Wheel was the greatest ride on the block and that everyone wants what's best for everyone. Now, I see that everyone wants whats best for themselves.

Throughout college and up to about a year and a half ago - I used to feel restless unless I was volunteering some of my time with the youth. I had to stop though, because my Mon-Fri 8-5 job required too many weekend and evening hours. I do enjoy my job (and by no means is it because of the salary or benefits which are lacking for the time and effort that I put into it.), but it has taken over too much of my life. How can I change my mindset of, 'what's best for me?' to 'how can I benefit others?'.

If anyone is reading this, you are probably saying to yourself, 'bullsh*t, you don't really feel that way, if you did, you'd quit your job, give up all your material items and devote your life to orphans.' - Thats a great idea, but then how do I pay off my $40k in college loans that just won't go away? No wonder why they call it the daily grind.