My First Post and Perhaps not the Last

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while now, but for the longest time couldn't validate why I should share my thoughts with anyone who happened to run across my blog. I still can't, but hell, if everyone else is, why can't I? Usually, I'm an upbeat person who has a good outlook on life - I see this as an opportunity to rant on those things that drive me up the wall and hopefully rave about those things in life that keep me going. I keep my identity anonomous so that I can be brutally honest about issues that arrive in my job, family and the rest of my life. I'm an average middle class women in my late 20's who has to work for a living and face the family (who I love and adore) at Christmas (I'm sure that I will dive into that relationship later). Average, BUT aren't we all in some way or another?


As I surf the web, tv and newspapers, I see content that makes me wonder if my parents feel the same way about society as I am beginning to when they were my age. This is why I always say that I hope to have the mindset of a 5 year old forever. Mature? Nope, I don't claim to be in the least. Responsibilities? Yep, I've got them, just like anyone else and I do hold true to them 99% of the time. However, I find that at the end of the day, my job is on the brain more than it should be, I'm more worried about my financial future more than how my friends and family are doing at times and recently, I realized that I haven't taken a real vacation in over 5 years. What the hell? I have been so caught up in the daily grind that I fear that I am losing sight of what truely is important to me. I miss the days of believing my parents are stronger than superheros (today they are the only superheros I believe in), that the President IS a smart man who could do no evil, that my Smurf Big Wheel was the greatest ride on the block and that everyone wants what's best for everyone. Now, I see that everyone wants whats best for themselves.


Throughout college and up to about a year and a half ago - I used to feel restless unless I was volunteering some of my time with the youth. I had to stop though, because my Mon-Fri 8-5 job required too many weekend and evening hours. I do enjoy my job (and by no means is it because of the salary or benefits which are lacking for the time and effort that I put into it.), but it has taken over too much of my life. How can I change my mindset of, 'what's best for me?' to 'how can I benefit others?'.


If anyone is reading this, you are probably saying to yourself, 'bullsh*t, you don't really feel that way, if you did, you'd quit your job, give up all your material items and devote your life to orphans.' - Thats a great idea, but then how do I pay off my $40k in college loans that just won't go away? No wonder why they call it the daily grind.